06 February 2016

Sep165

This was a hard week. I'm not sure when it started to go down hill but I know by Wednesday evening I was out of it mentally and physically. I know I wasn't sleeping well and I guess the added stress of the divorce paperwork put me over the edge. I had lost all vitality and mentally I became easily distract.. Squirrel! Hm? Oh right, Anyway if you're wondering what it's like to deal with depression there is a TED talk which describes it well.


So, what got me out of the funk you ask? Well Wednesday night I prayed, something I had gotten out of the habit of doing. I basically said that I'm really struggling and asked for a lifeline –someone to talk to because I didn't know who to contact (I blame this on the mental mush, I've had a number of friends tell me I can call and chat any time)– and I guess I also wanted someway to know that God was really listening.

31 January 2016

Sep159

I know it's been some time since I posted last, but not much has really happened. I feel like all I've done is run and recover and I mean that literally. Back in November I was enticed by a friend to run a marathon. This is something I've wanted to do for some time now and with everything going on I needed a change and a goal, so I signed up. Now this isn't my first sporting event I've signed up for but it's been years since feeling like I could even attempt something of this magnitude and even then I wasn't sure I could do it.

This month I've run for 10 hours and 55 minutes completing 63.7 miles and burning almost 8,000 calories. The marathon takes place at the end of May in Utah. At this rate I should be able to finish without much trouble, but right now it feels like a constant battle and a lot of recovery. Just yesterday I ran 12 miles and tomorrow I'll probably run about 6 miles. I never thought I would say this but a 1 mile run is a piece of cake, two miles isn't really even that bad. Crazy right! I guess with all things in perspective 1 mile compared to 26.2 miles really isn't a lot.

17 January 2016

Sep145

It's been a couple of busy weeks. Although I'm realizing I can't remember half of what happened off the top of my head. I may have to start doing this once a week, maybe even every few days. But I think for now it will be a weekly update; and as this process of journaling becomes more accustomed –causing either the posts to be longer or written faster– I will look into updating more often.

Well since today is the freshest in my mind I'll start there. Hmmm.. on second thought I suppose it's better to start with what lead up to today's events. So I'll be starting with what happened this last week.

03 January 2016

Sep131

The past year has been... well, let's say the events in my life have changed things drastically. And today I stand looking at a closed door, struggling to find hope and encouragement; contemplating what I'm doing and why I should bother pushing forward. Alexander Graham Bell once said, “When one door closes another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” and he's right. I've had doors close before and it was challenging. Sometimes I've even seen the new ones open, but this, this is different. Maybe it's not, maybe I just want it to be; but, for arguments sake, right now, as I'm writing this, it's different.

I'm sure by now you're thinking, "Enough with the thoughts and emotions, what happened?" Well, the reason I'm telling this is to get those emotions and thoughts out of my head; call it therapy. If you don't like it you don't have to read it. But, just to warn you from this point forward the blog will be about me blabbing about my life.
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